During the last few years, in my family, we have suffered a number of losses in a dramatic proportion of time. But something happened with my last death, my ant, that differed from the previous ones. It was the first time, and I hope the last time, that someone died in front of me.
Apart from the pain, I felt unique, special, and somehow lucky for being chosen, because someone had waited for me and gave me her last breath. But the moment was too intense, so hard to digest, and has long been chasing me.
I needed an explanation to the radicalism of that change from life to death. To give a temporal entity to a moment seems not existing.
In the process of documentation I could choose to do a scientific study on death, about, for example, the states that have passed the ones who have lost someone (denial, acceptance, ...), but soon found that it was not the way. I didn't feel better. I realised I was looking for something more honest and simple.
So I finally choose the metaphore, trying to empathize with that person by sharing that absolute solitude transit between life and death.
I just got into the room and waited like her the night to come.